A list of ten common ways in which we inadvertently sabotage our relationships, negatively impact our public identity as well as our emotional well-being, and even limit the types of relationships we’re able to create.  Based on life coach and physician Dr. Matthew Budd’s book, “You Are What You Say,” this summary of what not to do points the way for what we can do to more consistently create a healthy balance of peacefulness and productivity in our lives. Language creates and generates, it does not simply describe. By paying attention to our language and the specific language acts we use in our conversations, we can dramatically improve our relationships, our productivity, our emotional well-being… our Results.  Dr. Matthew Budd’s book You Are What You Say provides a wonderful synopsis of “what not to do” in this area. Ten Ways To Not Produce The Results You Want Don’t make requests of anybody. Period. Live with lots of un-communicated expectations of others, and view these as “debts” others have to you. Make unclear requests. Don’t be specific in what you’re asking for or when you want it. Don’t pay attention to the mood of your requests. Make promises (say “yes” to other people’s requests) even when you’re not clear about what’s involved. Don’t decline requests. Never say “no” to anybody’s requests. Break promises without taking care of the relationship. Treat your assessments (opinions) as if they were assertions (facts.) Make lots of ungrounded assessments (form lots of strong opinions without being conscious about standards or facts involved. Do not grant anyone permission to share their assessments about your actions with you. Like this Tool Tip? Get Lots More in these eBooks! [wpsc_products category_id='80' ]